Psychologically, why do people tend to control others? There are two control freaks in my own family, trying to control what I do and what I say in my entire life..

@self Short answer? It’s complicated. Long answer can be a number of reasons. Insecurity on their part, lack of order in their lives, unable to empathize, learned behavior (think toxic masculinity here), paranoia, anger problems, narcissism, they enjoy it.

It doesn’t excuse it. And, it’s not your fault. You are not stupid or childish. You do not need to be told what to do for your own good. They are in the wrong.

And I’m sorry you live with that.

@self ...or just overcompensating their fear of loss and fear of loneliness - about persons nearby or persons they like maybe getting hurt, sometimes resulting in absurd behavior giving the opposite results - confusing problem and solution, forgetting other persons are persons, too - and have their own brain, too

@self Shortest answer from my point of view? Selfishness. Bit longer answer? Lack of empathy.

@self Control over others is linked to control over one's surroundings. Humans are loathe to feel lost or scared, and we feel the most lost and scared when we know we cannot affect the world around us. Other humans are inherently less controllable and understandable than most other areas of our lives, and so people seek to control humans because then the largest sources of uncertainty are made certain. If you control others, then you control a little more of the world, and you feel less afraid.

Sign in to participate in the conversation

We are a Mastodon instance for LGBT+ and alies!