I'm curious. ^_^ Do people tend to prefer the same kind of living they grew up with, or is it the opposite?

@porsupah I prefer living close to shops and the like because it removes the need to use the car a lot. It decreases the necessity to travel in general.

On the other hand I’d love to live in the mountains and not be bothered by anyone or anything.

urban vs rural 

urban vs rural 

@vy Entirely understandable. ^_^ Suburban's a bit of a cruel trick - you don't get the peacefulness of a rural setting, but you also don't get the energy of an actual city. =:P

@porsupah It’s funny, my city is small enough you could generously say there’s 1 sq. km of “urban,” and the rest is just a vast smear of suburbs (>9000 sq. km)

@vy Arg, flashbacks to the South Bay, land of e n d l e s s s p r a w l. Technically there's Santa Clara, Sunnyvale, and all that lot, but it's just a slurry of suburbia, with a coagulation here and there the towns try promoting as downtown.

@vy @porsupah Ditto. Suburban culture sucks: it’s all egocentric individualism, no sense of shared ownership of and responsibility for place. Just people in their micro-castles piling into their steel-and-glass boxes to whizz right past neighbors they care nothing about to do things that matter only to them before coming home to pretended isolation.

@drifa @vy Urgh.. I'm reminded of one time I visited friends in Silver Spring, in a sea of McMansions - nothing walkable, *and* without the solitude of the countryside. Bleagh. A car can be a handy thing, but as a necessity? Nope, nope, that concept needs to die yesterday.

@drifa @vy @porsupah this has mostly been my experience of *urban* culture in a newish SF neighborhood with a high turnover rate. i've lived in this area for 8 years, and this building for 3, and it's people piling into the elevator to hoist their Amazon Locker packages back to their nano-castles so they can watch Netflix and fantasize about moving to Walnut Creek.

insularity in neighborhoods 

@porsupah I was raised suburban & prefer city

Tho really what I like is walkable neighborhoods, so I could conceivably enjoy living near a rural town center and be fairly happy 🤔

urban, suburban 

urban, suburban 

@porsupah i'm finding it really tough to figure out what option to choose

@porsupah yeah i decided to go on my current preference, rural (raised urban)

i've been in the countryside for nearly a year and it's been good and necessary after years in the city

i have a feeling at some stage i'm going to want to be back in the city but i'm not there right now

@kiki_d Mm, I can dig that. ^_^ I'd hate to be reliant on cars, though, and rural transit usually either sucks or doesn't exist, unless there's a train line nearby.

@porsupah ha yeah, public transport is shite everywhere in ireland, even the cities!

being reliant on the car is definitely one of the worst parts of it, especially as my wife doesn't drive so that impacts on her independence quite a bit

unfortunately as it stands with the cities we'd like to live in, we either can't afford to live there (dublin) or have too many concerns over current and future political issues (belfast)

[ ] Raised suburban, not had a chance to compare to anything else

(I like the combination of "quiet at my actual residence" and "there's a variety of shops and eateries accessible from my residence without a car" that I get here, so I'd probably not want to live anywhere else, but - haven't tried it, don't know.)

@bunnyjane ^_^ I suppose I /can/ see one positive - not bad places to raise kids, with housing generally cheaper than in cities proper, and at least /closer/ to stuff (including schools and employment) than out in the country. But urgh, they're tedious - growing up, you're often still just as reliant on parents/guardians to get anywhere. At least out in small villages, I tended to have some great footpaths, which the dogs greatly appreciated. ^_^ (Ah, I miss them. So great being able to bury your face in a tum of golden fur =:)

@porsupah I honestly think small cities are the best for raising kids, followed by rural villages, followed by big cities.


Been bounced around both a lot in my life, especially growing up, there's good sides to both for sure.

I know that sounds wishy-washy, hah.

I have family in the country that think a sleepy town of 2000 people is 'the city' and I have friends/family out here that act like a carefully cultivated campsite is 'the wilderness'.

I love too many conveniences of the city to want to live too far away from it, anymore, even if I'm not living like downtown in it though.


Live right now in what people in the city or even 'middle suburbia' would consider rural, but is definitely not by the definition of people that lived so far out that they literally didn't get mail delivered (and had to drive like 15 minutes just to get to a PO box) like my paternal family.

Like nobody out here is canning their own tomatoes in a cellar and stuff because going to the store is too much of a hassle here, hah.

I don't think I'd be happy in that life anymore though.


Definitely can see the reason some people would dislike the mcmansion life too. Lot of people pointing out the downsides to living where people are still everywhere but you still have to drive to get everywhere. We need good mass transit so bad, hah.

@porsupah raised in the kind of plush New Jersey suburbia where there were trees and lakes, i could bike everywhere, and i knew most of my neighbors

still had no friends

i suspect i need some critical density of people or my introversion goes cancerous, so, hooray cities?

@porsupah raised and prefer suburban, convenience of shops/travel routes without too much of the hassle of city roads but also not far to get to the countryside when wanted!

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