system pondering, my purposes
I think I might have originally been the taskmaster of this system? Not that I'm particularly good at keeping Alana on task. Thanks ADHD.
And a new purpose seems to be processing huge emotions that Alana isn't used to feeling. Like, maybe I'm some kind of rational filter. Or maybe she just pulls me in to avoid feeling them.
And that isn't to say I don't have emotions, because I definitely feel them. I guess I just handle them differently.
--, plurality, death mention
There was a point last week where Alana was gone for more than a day. I really worried she was dead.
This is all still so new for us.
We're not even completely sure if I actually existed before any of this happened, to be honest.
But we're both terrified of that other headmate. We don't know what they are.
My name is Lane. I'm a queer transfemme (that's right fuck you) enby somewhat-genderfluid masc-leaning something (finding the exact words is a journey in itself, eh?) and the body has been on hrt since August 2019. I'm in a plural system and a headmate of @alana_is_tooting, usually not fronting, but something has happened and I'm (hopefully temporarily) fronting exclusively.
Generally I'm quiet and shy and enjoy buckling down on large technical projects or reading.
transfem period pondering, hrt mention, mh
I know people have said that their bodily hormonal cycles sometimes start happening at 3 to 4 months into hrt. I'm coming up on three months soon, and I'm starting to wonder if mine is happening. And I'm wondering how that affects someone with untreated depression and an increasing tendency to dissociate.