I've started a private self help support chat room at LGTBQwellness:matrix.org. If anyone feels the need to share in a more intimate setting than the entire fediverse the issues in our lives that sometimes make it hard to bear, please come join the room. Your privacy is respected and protected here to the best of our ability.

A very strange thing just happened to me. I picked up my acoustic guitar for the first time in weeks (or months - I really can't remember - it was before being diagnosed with PTSD). I played What's Going On, by 4 non Blondes. Halfway through the second verse I started crying. I barely finished the song.

I pray, oh my god, do I pray. I pray for a thing called change - for revolution!

It kinda got hung up in my throat.

I've been exceptionally down beat of late. But I think I'm rounding the bend.

I have discovered that I really like wearing yoga pants!

Having money to pay someone for help is one thing. Finding someone who wants that money or cares to help is another thing entirely. I grew up in the house I live in. When I was young neighbors helped neighbors and rarely would take money for it. They understood "the shoe on the other foot" concept. I'm 60 years old now. Today, everyone around for miles are dyed in the wool Trumpladites. I'm an anarchist-communist through and through, though I don't make that public. But I don't hide my contempt for the republican party. And I can't find anyone anywhere that will even consider helping me... even for $20 an hour. These people have turned into self-absorbed pieces of shit. I'm getting tired of even trying.

I think it would be super if I had just two real life friends who only wanted me for friendship. This world really sucks.

Depression trigger 

I keep trusting people who betray me. I keep helping people who don't intend to help me in return. I keep loving people who don't love me back.

I don't know why I even try. Maybe I should stop.

I just want it to stop hurting. I want it to all go away.

If a friend or family member asks you for money and you give them all you have and they keep asking for more knowing you haven't been paid since you gave them all you had, what would you call that?

Watch gay Minot, Dakota council woman take a bigot down in under 2 minutes! Props!

"Modern times reduces [the] prospect of everyman a speculator, an incipient bourgeois, to pious hope for most whose actual chances of ascending out of a subordinate status of more or less well-rewarded proletarian dependency is close to nil." - Mongrel Firebugs of Men & Property

I'm really having a hard time pushing the sad away. 😓


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