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We now have a Patreon:

... for those of you who would like to sign up to donate whenever and just automatically throw in a couple of quid every February or so!

In British English, all titles (Mr, Ms, etc) are written without a full stop/period.

To my knowledge, in American English Mr and Mrs are usually followed by a period/full stop, but Miss isn't.

People who usually write in American English, which do you use?

hetero-attracted aces, do you consider yourself straight, queer, both, neither or other? I ask this without any gatekeepy bullshit, just out of interest. If you like a label, it's yours :) boosting is appreciated for larger sample size

My 6-year-old nibling is having gender feels and is thinking that maybe "demiboy" is a good identity description but is unsure, and is concerned about coming out. My sibling-in-law is helping, being nb themselves, but the kid also wanted me to weigh in as a non-cis, non-parent figure.

I experience with young childhood coming-out or with the demi identities. Does anyone know of a good set of resources for this?

request for book recs, boosts welcome 

Hi all!

One of my dear friends has a child who is beginning to question their gender identity (specifically, they have questions about what it means to be nonbinary, as they believe that they may be!).

Her kiddo is eleven and is looking for books about coming out as nonbinary and support/affirmation for those that are.

Book recs for mom and kid would be greatly appreciated. ty!

@madewokherd There are three theys:

Singular they - referring to one person, any reflexive but usually "themself", e.g. "they are a writer"

Plural they - referring to two or more people, reflexive "themselves", e.g. "they are writers"

Indefinite they - referring to an indistinct other of unknown number, any reflexive probably, e.g. "they say it's good to write what you know..."

Anyway, thanks for listening to this late-night ramble. I really enjoy the way this research and participants' feedback challenges me and forces me to reconsider concepts and shift my understanding of language, gender, and other related and unrelated ideas.

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If plural they is typed into textboxes by over 1% of participants that's a whole other situation, and it would be automatically reconsidered.

If a checkbox term or pronoun isn't accurate for you, don't choose it! Type something in a textbox instead, so I can know it's popular.

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Having said that, I am so far undecided, but leaning towards *not* including plural they. The "comparison" words that are on the list despite being chosen by under 1% of participants (binary, cisgender, etc) are gender-related words. Plural they is unrelated to gender.

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I am considering adding plural they to the checkbox list, NOT as a way to include plural people (because arbitrary inclusion isn't a reason for adding any term that is written into textboxes by under 1% of people), but because it might be useful to compare with singular they.

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I'm not going to combine two pronoun sets into one in the annual survey, because they are two pronoun sets that have different meanings and use cases, and (usually) different spellings.

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This all started because I've been asked by a few people to combine singular and plural they in the annual survey, and just call it "they" instead of "singular they", so that plural people can choose it.

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I'm thinking maybe something like:

Singular they - they/them/their/theirs/themself (plural verbs, i.e. "they are a writer")


They - they/them/their/theirs/themself (for referring to an individual, i.e. "they are a writer")

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If calling the set "singular they" on the annual survey doesn't add clarity and help people find their pronoun set, I will stop using that name, and switch to providing the meaning instead.

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It's a sign of progress, since singular they for nonbinary people is so much more commonly accepted that every nonbinary person *doesn't* need to know the name "singular they" and what exactly the name means and how it is used differently from third-person regular/plural they.

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It's a useful name, to refer to a pronoun set with a slightly different use case and, usually, spelling to match. And for some reason I thought that my experience from a decade ago, where understanding of this name was universal, would obviously still be relevant. (It is not.)

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Hand on heart, it honestly did not occur to me that a significant number of people might not know that's what "singular they" means. "Singular they" is the name that lexicographers and other people who study language collectively call "they/them when referring to one person."

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At that time, the "singular they isn't grammatically correct" and "singular they can't refer to a specific known person" arguments were very prevalent, and every trans person I encountered understood that singular they is defined as "they/them used to refer to one person."

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When I first came out (about 10 years ago) and started learning about pronouns, I researched "singular they" pronouns a little bit - in part because lots of people were arguing that singular they wasn't a legit pronoun, so I wanted to understand more.

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I've been working to get to the bottom of what other people mean and understand by particular grammatical terms, my own preconceptions and misconceptions, and which parts of it fit within the limited scope of the Gender Census.

My brain is very tired now. :D

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