Blargh it's my birthday tomorrow.

Otherwise known as the 24 hour period before I was adopted into a family that would end up traumatizing me for life.

I'm not excited. Tomorrow and adoption day (Saturday) are gonna be hard.

birthday, adoption, - 

@eclectic ***hug*** At least you have other anniversaries that are worth remembering, ne? Your HRTversary, for one, and maybe you have special dates associated with the polycule.

(Though TBH, I'd say those are worth celebrating any day =:)

And of course, now you've made - seemingly good - contact with your birth mother.. perhaps that might mitigate the pain? Nothing can undo what you experienced at your adopted family's hands, but maybe there's some kind of way forward emotionally to be found now with her.

re: birthday, adoption, - 

@porsupah hrt anniversary is the day I celebrate yeah, it's my trans birthday. This year I'll be 2!

Honestly having made contact with her just... Deepened the pain. Idunno how to explain it. In some ways it is nice, and it does help, but it also just makes the whole thing even harder - more real. Like... Now I can answer a small portion of "what if" y'know?

The what if I've been wondering about my whole life. Stuff like "what does she look like" or "what would our life would've looked like" (which I can at least fill in the blanks like how old she is).

It's also my first birthday since I cut off my adoptive mom, and my adoptive dad hasn't even talked to me in months and I doubt I'll hear from him.

Idunno. It's just a long and stupid day

re: birthday, adoption, - 

@eclectic I hope those close to you can offer some comfort to you on this occasion. You so deserve it.

And two years soon? Wow. ^_^ Those are the big days, ne? The feeling of those first breat budding pangs, realising just what that weird almost-pain is.. =:D (And true, whilst HRT can't do anything for an adult skellington, all the subtle other changes in fat and muscle distribution can make for actual changes in the face too. I can look in mirrors now and smile, because I'm seeing a woman there!)

re: birthday, adoption, - 

@porsupah honestly, it's exciting to think it's been 2 years. 11 years of transition and 2 years hrt all within a few weeks of each other

I'm excited, and I'm gonna maybe have a party.

re: birthday, adoption, - 

@eclectic Oh, go for it! Even if it's simply enjoying some great food and drinks at home, that's definitely an occasion to celebrate. ^_^

(I'll never forget the moment I took one pill and one patch out from that first prescription, onto the MacBook Pro, and just giggle-cried, knowing what this marked the start of. =:D Sure, I wish I'd gone for it much earlier, but it's like that old chestnut about the best time to plant a tree, ne? =:)

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