mh/ph-, s*xual harassment, me updates/hiatus updates 

sorry i havent been around with my queer hot takes and streams for a while. tbh, ive been in a really really low place, both physically and mentally.

In short, a week ago last night, I was sexually harassed and targeted in public, and watched as no one did a damn thing. I've been kinda hiding in a hole and feeling gross and trying to be okay for a while.

on top of that, i lost most use of my hands for a week, and they are still only just coming back.

i might continue to be on a hiatus for a while... Streams will be back one day tho!

mh/ph-, me updates/hiatus updates, disability stuff, long 

so, far as i can tell, the pain in my hands got so bad that I couldn't do anything because i had to use my cane every day all day consistently for a few weeks.

All the weight on my hand, and the subsequent soothing from the one not holding a cane, seems to have really done a number on me.

I'm kinda terrified of the implications of this tho, does that mean that i get to choose between walking and hands? Does that mean that i can't keep using my cane to get around, and if so should i be trying to buy a wheelchair?

that whole spiral of logic has been really really hard to accept and process honestly and logically. Its really hard to think about how a year and a half ago you used to commute on a longboard, and now you need a wheelchair, all without any kind of diagnosis.

honestly, the hardest part about all this hasnt been the boredom or the pain or the sudden change to my independence, its been accepting what all of this means for my near future... Its had me depressed and anxious, and absolutely plays hell on my trauma responses... But im figuring it out one day at a time.

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mh/ph-, me updates/hiatus updates, disability stuff, long 

@eclectic Mmm. Of any physical issues, that's amongst the most disturbing - uncertainty as to what's in store, or indeed, what's even /happening/. And still no help from your GP? FFS.

mh/ph-, me updates/hiatus updates, disability stuff, long 

@porsupah still no GP. I've been through a couple now, but one outright dismissed my pain ("Its not that bad"), one said they were "hesitant to see a trans patient".

I'm hoping to find one in the next couple days

mh/ph-, me updates/hiatus updates, disability stuff, long 

@eclectic Oh, FFS. Hasn't that doctor heard the latest classification news? Turns out trans aren't a separate species after all! /s

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mh/ph-, me updates/hiatus updates, disability stuff, long 

@porsupah yeah well, such is the sad state of queer friendly healthcare in my neck of the woods

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