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mh/ph-, s*xual harassment, me updates/hiatus updates 

sorry i havent been around with my queer hot takes and streams for a while. tbh, ive been in a really really low place, both physically and mentally.

In short, a week ago last night, I was sexually harassed and targeted in public, and watched as no one did a damn thing. I've been kinda hiding in a hole and feeling gross and trying to be okay for a while.

on top of that, i lost most use of my hands for a week, and they are still only just coming back.

i might continue to be on a hiatus for a while... Streams will be back one day tho!

mh/ph-, me updates/hiatus updates, disability stuff, long 

so, far as i can tell, the pain in my hands got so bad that I couldn't do anything because i had to use my cane every day all day consistently for a few weeks.

All the weight on my hand, and the subsequent soothing from the one not holding a cane, seems to have really done a number on me.

I'm kinda terrified of the implications of this tho, does that mean that i get to choose between walking and hands? Does that mean that i can't keep using my cane to get around, and if so should i be trying to buy a wheelchair?

that whole spiral of logic has been really really hard to accept and process honestly and logically. Its really hard to think about how a year and a half ago you used to commute on a longboard, and now you need a wheelchair, all without any kind of diagnosis.

honestly, the hardest part about all this hasnt been the boredom or the pain or the sudden change to my independence, its been accepting what all of this means for my near future... Its had me depressed and anxious, and absolutely plays hell on my trauma responses... But im figuring it out one day at a time.

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mh/ph-, s*xual harassment, me updates/hiatus updates 

@eclectic Oh, gods. ***hughughug*** If you need to be a bit away, that's absolutely fine, obviously. Hopefully we can be part of improving your state.

mh/ph-, s*xual harassment, me updates/hiatus updates 

@porsupah the fedi always is <3. my home here on LGBT.io always feels great. I haven't been able to talk about any of this on any other social media, and its huge that i can!

The fedi is the first socials ive slowly started using again, and continues to show non-stop love to me and my tunes. This place rules

mh/ph-, me updates/hiatus updates, disability stuff, long 

@eclectic Mmm. Of any physical issues, that's amongst the most disturbing - uncertainty as to what's in store, or indeed, what's even /happening/. And still no help from your GP? FFS.

mh/ph-, me updates/hiatus updates, disability stuff, long 

@porsupah still no GP. I've been through a couple now, but one outright dismissed my pain ("Its not that bad"), one said they were "hesitant to see a trans patient".

I'm hoping to find one in the next couple days

mh/ph-, me updates/hiatus updates, disability stuff, long 

@eclectic Oh, FFS. Hasn't that doctor heard the latest classification news? Turns out trans aren't a separate species after all! /s

mh/ph-, me updates/hiatus updates, disability stuff, long 

@porsupah yeah well, such is the sad state of queer friendly healthcare in my neck of the woods

re: mh/ph-, me updates/hiatus updates, disability stuff, long 

@eclectic ugh that's awful. taking a break is good. :blobcatheart:

mh/ph-, s*xual harassment, me updates/hiatus updates 

@eclectic
I was concerned that I wasn't reading your posts in my feed. Damn this sucks. I hope that if it ever happened to somebody while I'm there, that I'd have the decency to act.

Take care, and I hope you finally get the medical help you need.

mh/ph-, s*xual harassment, me updates/hiatus updates 

@normandc thanks muchly, it means a lot.

And hey! There are lots of classes and videos online about intervening in cases of racism, queerphobia, and sexual violence.

It wasnt that people turned a blind eye, its that no one recognized the harrassment until i was alone outside with the guy, and he was suggesting "his penis would make me like guys". Identifying sexual violence before it escalates is hard, and often needs training.

mh/ph-, s*xual harassment, me updates/hiatus updates 

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