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selfie, eye contact, intimate setting 

Good morning!

I can't sleep, so I'm posting kind-of-intimate-but-not-lewd selfies while I'm still so groggy I can safely ignore how anxious this would usually make me feel.

Pinned toot

I love it when we get these trans-flag sunrise colours as I'm sipping my coffee. Reminds me of that old weather rhyme:

Trans in the morning,
Cis gender take warning.

Trans at night,
Cis gender take warning.

The problem with a festive "scary" fall display name change is the lengthy amount of time that typically passes before I remember I should revert it.

trans, hormone levels, mh + 

Welp, labs came back at normal cis levels for the first time ever. I am, needless to say, ecstatic. I've been fighting to get here for *four and a half years*.

I'm also loving that I get to crush the myth that one cannot achieve normal levels with spiro and oral estradiol. It may not be the "optimal" route, but I'm disabled, poor, and can't capitalism properly, I don't have fancier options available to me. (Monotherapy was a miserable failure for me every time I've tried, to my chagrin.)

I'm already feeling excited to see where my transition goes from here! :QueerCatHeart_BlackTrans:

selfie, eye contact, intimate setting 

Good morning!

I can't sleep, so I'm posting kind-of-intimate-but-not-lewd selfies while I'm still so groggy I can safely ignore how anxious this would usually make me feel.

meds, oops, adhd 

I forgot to take my morning pills. (Only five hours late!)

And my mid-morning pills.

And my afternoon pills. (Only two hours late!)

Surprisingly I feel a lot better now that I have taken them all?! Prrrrobably just a coincidence, though. Sure.


Whoops. I fell down a nostalgia hole, signed into LambdaMOO, and now I can't stop chatting with someone I can't even remember.

1996 is at the door and would like hours of my day, thank you very much.

I love how I didn't even reply to the post I meant to reply to, making this post entirely context-less.

Sorta feeling like maybe I shouldn't be signed in here a lot of the time anymore, which is an odd feeling.

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I wish I felt that cheerful in the morning. :3

fedi filters working as designed + 

Filters are great and all, but wow -- didn't realise it was that time of year again already!

FSF, RMS, stay mad techbros 

I'd like to thank all the Stallman white knighters and abuse apologists for making my block list all the better.

Keep up the misogyny and transmisia, it really suits you!

covid mention, vaccine, uspol 

I'm thrilled my enbyfriend is on their school's list for the corona virus vaccine once it's available in their area.

I guess being a queer and LGBTQA+ inclusive teacher who tries to do their best by their ESL students has got to have an up side *once in a while*. Other than the state's ruthless and reckless endangerment of their life at every flipping turn, obviously, which has been implicit from the start.

I'm running to the gending machine, anyone need anything?

The body knows when it's time for certain cute girls to sleeb.

mh-, ph-, injury (blood mentioned), tired of everything 

I'm not having a great day.

I tried to type out a journal entry this morning about accidentally peeling a toenail most of the way off last night (oh, the blood!), and by the time I'd gotten a few sentences typed out my chronic pain was so bad I almost didn't finish.

I seem to have reached the point where I can't use a computer keyboard without it making my pain so overwhelming I get sick to my stomach and start to slide into panic.

Most of my friends are online because I rarely get to leave the house, and now even being with my online friends is starting to be more painful than I can tolerate. Worse, my LDR is online and communicating with them and their paramour is getting harder as well.

This is depressing me in ways I cannot even express.

"Either the tag comes out of these trousers or I do."

Boosts are fine on this, by the way. I typed it up more to be informational and cautionary than anything else.

A lot of people say anecdotally that bicalutamide is far gentler with fewer side effects than spironolactone. In my experience that was sadly far from reality.

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Transfemme HRT, bicalutamide trial, side effects ~ 

I've just spent the last month or so taking bicalutamide at low doses in an attempt to replace spironolactone, which causes me mental health issues.

I started out by tapering off of spiro for a week, then started bical at 12.5mg every other day. Eventually I also tried 25mg twice per week.

In the end I discontinued because the heart flutters/a-fib and chest pain I was experiencing were severe enough to cause me grave concern. I suffer from random heartbeat irregularities at times anyway, but usually a few times per month. This was often several times per hour, and the angina was causing me difficulty sleeping. It often felt like my heart was being crushed in my chest when I laid down.

I never had hormone labs done, given my poor reaction so I don't know what, if any, effect it may have had. I really didn't notice anything obvious from a feel perspective, which was surprising. My doctor was adamant that I discontinue when she heard about the chest pain and other side effects.

The others were: Acid reflux, liver inflammation, disorientation/dizziness, headache, dry tired painful throat (pills and food got stuck causing a choke hazard), random sharp bone joint and soft tissue pains, increased thirst, increased libido

In the end I'm stuck back on spiro, despite how badly it treats me.

I'd strongly caution anyone with heart issues against this medication without close supervision.

phone search (hardware failure), frustration 

My phone just went into a bootloop and is stuck there.

I have an old one I can use for now, but the battery is trash, and it's likely to fall apart soon as well.

When did it become impossible to find a phone that has:

* Screen size between 5-6 inches (much over 6 is a non-starter)

* Storage 256GB or greater or accepts microSD expansion

* Headphone jack

* Preferably no ridiculous "single-function" hardware key that summons Google to spy on me or my family

* Native Dvorak soft keyboard layout (This one typically rules anything Apple out as they staunchly refuse to add a software Dvorak layout. Who knows why.)

Suggestions are very much welcome.

The closest new set I can find is the LG G8, but it seems to have the ubiquitous Google-Please-Record-What-I'm-Saying-Without-My-Consent button.

nature photos (of flowers (and a cute beetle?)) 

I felt up to a bit of a hike yesterday and was pleasantly surprised how many blooms are out. I took some time to enjoy them while they are still in their prime.

Our plum tree (not pictured) had the most blossoms I've ever seen on it before, and smelled absolutely divine. I was exhausted by then and still didn't want to leave that delicious aroma...

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