clover @clover@lgbt.io

Good morning!

I can't sleep, so I'm posting kind-of-intimate-but-not-lewd selfies while I'm still so groggy I can safely ignore how anxious this would usually make me feel.

The problem with a festive "scary" fall display name change is the lengthy amount of time that typically passes before I remember I should revert it.

Welp, labs came back at normal cis levels for the first time ever. I am, needless to say, ecstatic. I've been fighting to get here for *four and a half years*.

I'm also loving that I get to crush the myth that one cannot achieve normal levels with spiro and oral estradiol. It may not be the "optimal" route, but I'm disabled, poor, and can't capitalism properly, I don't have fancier options available to me. (Monotherapy was a miserable failure for me every time I've tried, to my chagrin.)

I'm already feeling excited to see where my transition goes from here!

Good morning!

I can't sleep, so I'm posting kind-of-intimate-but-not-lewd selfies while I'm still so groggy I can safely ignore how anxious this would usually make me feel.

I forgot to take my morning pills. (Only five hours late!)

And my mid-morning pills.

And my afternoon pills. (Only two hours late!)

Surprisingly I feel a lot better now that I have taken them all?! Prrrrobably just a coincidence, though. Sure.

Whoops. I fell down a nostalgia hole, signed into LambdaMOO, and now I can't stop chatting with someone I can't even remember.

1996 is at the door and would like hours of my day, thank you very much.

I love how I didn't even reply to the post I meant to reply to, making this post entirely context-less.

Sorta feeling like maybe I shouldn't be signed in here a lot of the time anymore, which is an odd feeling.

I wish I felt that cheerful in the morning. :3

Filters are great and all, but wow -- didn't realise it was that time of year again already!

I'm thrilled my enbyfriend is on their school's list for the corona virus vaccine once it's available in their area.

I guess being a queer and LGBTQA+ inclusive teacher who tries to do their best by their ESL students has got to have an up side *once in a while*. Other than the state's ruthless and reckless endangerment of their life at every flipping turn, obviously, which has been implicit from the start.

The body knows when it's time for certain cute girls to sleeb.

I'm not having a great day.

I tried to type out a journal entry this morning about accidentally peeling a toenail most of the way off last night (oh, the blood!), and by the time I'd gotten a few sentences typed out my chronic pain was so bad I almost didn't finish.

I seem to have reached the point where I can't use a computer keyboard without it making my pain so overwhelming I get sick to my stomach and start to slide into panic.

Most of my friends are online because I rarely get to leave the house, and now even being with my online friends is starting to be more painful than I can tolerate. Worse, my LDR is online and communicating with them and their paramour is getting harder as well.

This is depressing me in ways I cannot even express.

Boosts are fine on this, by the way. I typed it up more to be informational and cautionary than anything else.

A lot of people say anecdotally that bicalutamide is far gentler with fewer side effects than spironolactone. In my experience that was sadly far from reality.