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selfie, eye contact, intimate setting 

Good morning!

I can't sleep, so I'm posting kind-of-intimate-but-not-lewd selfies while I'm still so groggy I can safely ignore how anxious this would usually make me feel.

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I love it when we get these trans-flag sunrise colours as I'm sipping my coffee. Reminds me of that old weather rhyme:

Trans in the morning,
Cis gender take warning.

Trans at night,
Cis gender take warning.

I just got to hold a bat after it surprised me as I was getting out of the shower.

They're incredibly adorable for how tiny they are (and considering just how shamefully I cowered behind the shower curtain on first sighting it).

tech, docker, fucking tired - 

The most irritating part of this aborted experiment was I only bothered touching Docker because I wanted to set up SingleFile or ArchiveBox so I could *save* web page data for use when our internet inevitably goes out -- which it does *regularly* here, along with the power.

But no, obviously that's asking far too much.

*screaming in sarcastic and impotent rage*

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tech, docker, fucking tired - 

I love trying out new software (docker in this case) and discovering it's entirely useless to me because it was written by devs who don't apparently believe rural internet/dial-up are a thing that exists. OBVIOUSLY everyone who matters is on broadband like they are.

(And no, --max-concurrent-downloads is entirely useless, it still times out. Thanks for not bothering with an actual bandwidth limit, like most software has, as that would have actually helped me.)

pointless nerdery+ 

Okay, the replacement of drives is done, and my nearly 30 TB array volume awaits, theoretically. (Boosted from 8 TB!)

The problem is the interminable waiting for resize2fs to do its thing is paining me. Where is my dang status bar?!

clover@sensha:/ resize2fs /dev/md0
frustration: [=====+..] 98%

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pointless nerdery+ 

I'm really enjoying my "rebuilding my long-degraded raid6 media array with new drives that are twice as large" energy today, and I can barely articulate how calm its making me feel.

I may be a simple creature, but "progress bar go up" will basically never fail to soothe me.

The problem with a festive "scary" fall display name change is the lengthy amount of time that typically passes before I remember I should revert it.

trans, hormone levels, mh + 

Welp, labs came back at normal cis levels for the first time ever. I am, needless to say, ecstatic. I've been fighting to get here for *four and a half years*.

I'm also loving that I get to crush the myth that one cannot achieve normal levels with spiro and oral estradiol. It may not be the "optimal" route, but I'm disabled, poor, and can't capitalism properly, I don't have fancier options available to me. (Monotherapy was a miserable failure for me every time I've tried, to my chagrin.)

I'm already feeling excited to see where my transition goes from here! :QueerCatHeart_BlackTrans:

selfie, eye contact, intimate setting 

Good morning!

I can't sleep, so I'm posting kind-of-intimate-but-not-lewd selfies while I'm still so groggy I can safely ignore how anxious this would usually make me feel.

meds, oops, adhd 

I forgot to take my morning pills. (Only five hours late!)

And my mid-morning pills.

And my afternoon pills. (Only two hours late!)

Surprisingly I feel a lot better now that I have taken them all?! Prrrrobably just a coincidence, though. Sure.


Whoops. I fell down a nostalgia hole, signed into LambdaMOO, and now I can't stop chatting with someone I can't even remember.

1996 is at the door and would like hours of my day, thank you very much.

I love how I didn't even reply to the post I meant to reply to, making this post entirely context-less.

Sorta feeling like maybe I shouldn't be signed in here a lot of the time anymore, which is an odd feeling.

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I wish I felt that cheerful in the morning. :3

fedi filters working as designed + 

Filters are great and all, but wow -- didn't realise it was that time of year again already!

FSF, RMS, stay mad techbros 

I'd like to thank all the Stallman white knighters and abuse apologists for making my block list all the better.

Keep up the misogyny and transmisia, it really suits you!

covid mention, vaccine, uspol 

I'm thrilled my enbyfriend is on their school's list for the corona virus vaccine once it's available in their area.

I guess being a queer and LGBTQA+ inclusive teacher who tries to do their best by their ESL students has got to have an up side *once in a while*. Other than the state's ruthless and reckless endangerment of their life at every flipping turn, obviously, which has been implicit from the start.

I'm running to the gending machine, anyone need anything?

The body knows when it's time for certain cute girls to sleeb.

mh-, ph-, injury (blood mentioned), tired of everything 

I'm not having a great day.

I tried to type out a journal entry this morning about accidentally peeling a toenail most of the way off last night (oh, the blood!), and by the time I'd gotten a few sentences typed out my chronic pain was so bad I almost didn't finish.

I seem to have reached the point where I can't use a computer keyboard without it making my pain so overwhelming I get sick to my stomach and start to slide into panic.

Most of my friends are online because I rarely get to leave the house, and now even being with my online friends is starting to be more painful than I can tolerate. Worse, my LDR is online and communicating with them and their paramour is getting harder as well.

This is depressing me in ways I cannot even express.

"Either the tag comes out of these trousers or I do."

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