Alana @alana_is_tooting@lgbt.io

IT'S MY BOOSTDAY CAN I GET SOME BIRTHS

I just learned one of the things my mother did to me has a name. It's called "covert incest," and it's when a parent uses a kid as emotional support that that kid really isn't old enough or emotionally equipped to handle. An example from my childhood is when my parents were going through divorce, my mother would wake me up at 3am halfway through a bottle of wine to talk about how she hadn't had sex with my dad in months and how she couldn't deal with him having depression any more. This specific example started when I was 13 or 14 and carried on until I cut my mother out of my life.

You've probably heard of the Dunning-Kruger effect, but you also probably think it's something different than it actually is.

Misconception #1: People who aren't good at something (incompetents) think they're good at it [mostly true], but as people's skill goes up, their self-assessment goes down. [false]

Misconception #2: Incompetents overestimate how good they are at the thing [true], but experts underestimate how good they are at it. [mostly false]

Reality: The Dunning-Kruger study measured skill in two different ways, and the difference is important: absolute skill (how many questions you got right) and relative skill (how good your score was relative to other people who took the test).

More expertise makes you more accurate in both measures.

Absolute: Incompetents grossly overestimated themselves, while experts knew correctly that they got more questions right than the incompetents thought they did.

Relative: On average, everyone thought they did better than roughly 2/3rds of their peers; this happens to be an underestimate for the actual top 1/3rd and an overestimate for everyone else.

The kicker: Experts don't underestimate their own performance -- they over-estimate everyone else, and that's why they underestimate their skill in relation to others. (Incompetents, on the other hand, literally cannot recognize expertise when they see it.)

(more in-depth summary + link to study to follow) #psychology

My only makeup advice is just do it.

Be experimental. Make lots of mistakes, try new shit.

And when you come upon something that works refine the shit out of it.

Women: Don’t date a man who wouldn’t date a trans woman.

The "bashful dork" motif I had going for years has certainly translated well into "disaster lesbian".

imagine a world

@garfiald the biggest shitposter on mastodon dot com is a cathy-themed account and when they want to punctuate a point they say "ACK ACK ACK!!!" phones are gone and we all call each other on tiny ibm pcs we pull out of our pockets, with little keyboards and mice and crt screens. elevators go side to side and trains go up amd down

Therapy is healthcare and should be free.

trans men are amazing

soooo uh the lgbt group at my work wants to put together a panel for tdor that will speak in front of the whole company (200+ people). as one of the few trans people at the company they want me to be on it 😬

what should i talk about or make sure to bring up? i wanna focus a lot on the intersectional aspects, and preferably make as many people in the room uncomfortable as possible. i'm gonna try and do my research too but i thought i would ask and see if people here have ideas first.

@alana_is_tooting or it's an eclipse seen from far away ✨