Transition - MY DAD AGAIN --- 

Here is my rant from Discord on currently why I am pissed off with my Dad AGAIN

"I want my son back." GOD, I AM SICK OF HIM FUCKING BELIEVING YOU ARE NOT TRANS UNTIL YOU GET GRS - I LITERALLY AM NOW HIGHLY STRUNG AND PISSED OFF

Remember compromise I suggested sweetie, Facebook being fucking fussy --- made it impossible and he does not seem to get it, also he never meant change name to Q --- and GOD I FUCKING JUST WANT HIM TO FUCKING GET IT IN HIS THICK HEAD, THAT I AM TRANS, 'VERNON' IS DEAD, HE IS:

'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Transition - MY DAD AGAIN --- 

HE KEEPS SUGGESTING LETTERS, KEEPS SUGGESTING WORDS --- FACEBOOK WON'T ACCEPT QUICKSILVER, WON'T ACCEPT QC - IT WON'T ACCEPT --- STOP BEING IN FUCKING DENIAL AND JUST ACCEPT QUINN IS HERE TO STAY.
HE NEEDS TO FUCKING GET OUT THESE DELUSIONS THAT MY DEAD NAME OR HE IS COMING BACK, THAT IS NOT HAPPENING AND HE NEEDS TO ACCEPT IT... VERNON IS FUCKING GONE, GONE, VANISHED, DESTROYED, OBLITERATED SO MANY OTHER ADJECTIVES

Also yes Quicksilver not accepted --- SHOCK TO NO ONE EXCEPT MY PIKACHU FACED DAD

OUT OF ORDER.

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Transition - MY DAD AGAIN --- 

Also he is calling back after six --- expect more rant after this. He did call me back and destroyed my mood my girlfriend helped cheer me up, but I did break down because just fuckign sick of this. WHY AM I DISPLAYED AS ONE BEING UNREASONABLE IS ALL OF THIS? HOW CAN YOU EXPECT YOUR OWN CHILD TO FUCKING WRAP THEMSELVES IN KNOTS TO APPEASE YOU, AND THEN SAY IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

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Transition - MY DAD AGAIN --- 

@PaladinQuinn
I'm sorry. 馃槪

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Transition - MY DAD AGAIN --- 

UPDATE TIME!

sighs that is all I needed to wake up too - fucking hell --- and why the hell did I apologize about my breakdown yesterday... sighs
Like when I said I felt I was wrapping myself in knots he said that was all me --- then when he passed to my Mum I explained had breakdown and was sorry - and she admitted she did not like the name Vand and today's suggestion from him Vern. Then when she said it said it sounded stupid he got angry and I hung up phone as I was not going to deal with familial strife.
Is it a common trans experience we feel need to apologize for this? Part of what made me apologize was Mum sent another message why I phoned:

im sorry to hear that. At the end of the day i do not care what name you use,as long as its a name you and dad can agree on AND face book. I do not want all this strife. i wish we were not all falling out over this. you have to realize that your life changing decision has put a strain on some family members especially Dad. He wants to meet you half way and is prepared to compromise. perhaps you could choose a gender nuetral name that maybe includes the letters Q and V. for some reason He can not accept Quinn even thogh I have known guys with that name. for my birthday, I would like to see you and dad agreeing on the facebook name and being on speaking terms. its a dream.

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Transition - MY DAD AGAIN --- 

Note I had another breakdown this morning here's how it was:

I'd be better off dead --- not hurting anyone... all I do is hurt people
I can't win... god--- WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO BE FINALLY HAPPY
I'm useless... utterly useless... why did I delude myself into thinking I could ever be happy... I'll be around today... but not nearly as happy... because though I wanna die, won't hurt anyone else...

I was literally breaking down and extremely agitated in call but he kept insisting on keeping it going... I ended it with stuttering 'I I CAN'T' and broke down --- and i've unplugged the phone batteries house phone anyway... honestly whatever way you look at this, I am fucked... can't win... catch 22 all that
couldn't even enjoy my shower... that's how miserable I am.

no --- the house is in a trust they own --- and here I am now wondering if this will end up me being homeless... --- FUCKING HELL --- had a fairly relaxed convo with my Mum but it is evident she does not understand anything... she means well, my Dad just insists on things being sorted now --- also the new name they suggest is Vander --- ever feel like you are being controlled?

Also sick of Boomers approach with 'don't talk to others about this' because apparently sod my mental health.

Transition - MY DAD AGAIN --- 

@celesteh no it's okay, mostly okay now. Just he does this always when I wake up and beginning to realize Boomers don't understand Mental Health.

Transition - MY DAD AGAIN --- 

@celesteh also fyi i am 29 :P and live on my own but parents own the House in a Trust - admittedly know my Mum won't kick me out.

Transition - MY DAD AGAIN --- 

@PaladinQuinn I'm sorry you are in this position and having this struggle constantly with your dad... Obviously I'm not in a position to offer advice bc I haven't been there but fwiw you are 100% right that your identity is not something you should have to compromise on. I hope the rest of your day goes better.

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