well suddenly this at least partially explains why so many of us are so bad at taking compliments
First mail graduation thoughts
I got throigh it just fine
Painful spikes of jealousy every time the name Hannah was called
Bitter disappointment every time I had to confirm my name, and sheer disgust when the name called included my middle name, which I hate even more
But I did it. Hardly cried.
Now I have to wait for my friend to send my deed poll back so I can get my certificates changed
Trans-, uni-, whining about graduation again
Today's the day. I've been having nightmares about this for months.
I feel like there's just so much that could go wrong.
Nothing that could *realistically* go wrong. But that isn't going to stop me panicking about it.
All I have to do is get through the ceremony without crying. Then I'm done with university. Three years of absolute hell topped off with a hellish nightmare ceremony in my deadname purely because it's going to keep two people in a crowd of thousands happy.
It sounds fucking ridiculous that I'm putting myself through this when I say that.
Idk trans bad feels I guess, alcohol
Also trying desperately to justify my not wanting a fourth lager to my parents
Yeah hahaha I just don't want one, it's not like I'm scared because I'm on the verge of tears and terrified I'll come out to you on the spot in the full knowledge that the best outcome possible is you not taking me serious fuck
Idk trans bad feels I guess
Really can't wait to graduate tomorrow under a name that means nothing to me and that I've said ever since I was young felt wrong to hear and say
Meanwhile being paranoid that somebody actually noticed my name change on WhatsApp and immediately outs me to my parents or something
I've been dreading tomorrow for months
I'm that one girl that hates herself enough to play Yu-Gi-Oh
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